Parenting. It?s a challenge that is difficult to put into words. You love your kids so much but they can be total messes. If I?m being honest, I was the exact same way when I was a kid, and had the benefit of my parents being there for me. They helped me become who I am today, and while I?m far from perfect, I?m much better off because of their influence.
I was raised in a pretty traditional family demographically though. Mom and Dad were around, were married, and stayed that way. Even when I was young divorce numbers were high, but today it?s even higher. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. Couples with children have a slightly less rate of divorce, but it?s still very high.
Why am I spouting off divorce numbers? Well, because divorce is what leads to step parenting.
I married a wonderful woman with two wonderful boys ten years ago. It was and still is a package deal. And while it was easy for me to fall in love with her, it hasn?t always been as easy to fall in love with being a blended family. After all, there is a specific, natural love that you feel when a child is born. You can?t explain it, it?s just there. And you have another kind of love that you feel towards others, and it?s just a little different.
I love all my boys the same, but sometimes, as a step-parent, it?s tougher to love my step-sons. I have to work at it a little bit more. It?s not because they are bad kids, it?s just tougher. And I think it?s tougher for them to love me in the exact same way. We have come a long way but still have a long way to go.
Our boys spend the majority of their time with us, but their Dad is still in the picture too and loves them dearly. I want them to have both of us in their lives, but we are different people and this can be a real challenge when it comes to parenting. The boys are with us a lot, but we have learned to be able to part with them on some weekends and holidays. After we had our youngest child, those occasions were a more difficult as he was separated from his brothers and didn?t really understand why.
I guess I?m saying all of this to say divorce sucks, but there is redemption and learning that arises from the ashes.
It?s a constant struggle to figure out how to be a good step-dad and I?m just going to put it out there simply. It is tougher than being a regular Dad. It really is!
That?s not to say that regular fathering is easy, it?s not easy at all, but it?s just easier.
Thankfully, I have a great wife, great parents of my own and great in-laws to help make sense of our blended family. It?s been ten years and we are still doing our best to figure this mess out.
In conclusion I guess I would like to hear from other Moms and Dads from blended families, I know you are out there and none of us can do this without the encouragement of each other.
~Joe
Source: http://blog.choremonster.com/step-parenting-is-tougher-than-you-think/
whitney houston death the vow the voice season 2 ron paul maine safe house jay z and beyonce baby cpac
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.